Bye

I've just shifted to wordpress. Just trying out. Might/might not be back. =)

Only Almost Here

Him:"Why are you always affected by little things? And why must you always bring up stuffs in the past."

Him:"Can't you get over it?"

Her:"No. Because those little actions means alot."

Him:"If you can't let go, what do you wanna do about it?"

Her (silently thought):"Ya, what can I do?"

Oh hindsight, she realizes that there is always a solution/answer to every question.

The solution is to breakaway...

Because he is not willing to change, and she is not willing to wait for the change.

Little things will always affect her and the insensitive stuffs in the past are not going to help either.

-Give me a sign.

Delta Goodrem Feat Brian McFadden -Almost Here lyrics

Brian:

Did I hear you right?

Cause I thought you said

Let's think it over

You have been my life

And I never planned

Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light

Where the love once shined so bright

Came without a reason

Don't let go on us tonight

Love's not always black and white

Haven't I always loved you?

Delta:

But when I need you

You're almost here

And I know that's not enough

And when I'm with you

I'm close to tears

'cause your only almost here

Brian:

I would change the world

If I had a chance

Oh won't you let me

Treat me like a child

Throw your arms around me

Oh please protect me

Brian & Delta:

Bruise and battered by your words

Days are shattered, how it hurts

Brian:

Oh, haven't I always loved you?

Delta:

But when I need you

You're almost here

And I know that's not enough

And when I'm with you

I'm close to tears

'cause your only almost here

Brian & Delta:

Bruise and battered by your words

Days are shattered, now it hurts

Brian:

Haven't I always loved you?

Delta:

But when I need you

You're almost here

Brian:

Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you

Delta:

And when I hold you

You're almost here

Brian:

Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

Brian & Delta:

And now I'm with you

I'm close to tears

Brian:

Cause I know I'm almost here

Brian & Delta:

Only almost here

The Beginning

Toronto, New York City... What's next?


I'm beginning to call my apartment my home.
I'm beginning to get chummy with my room mates.
I'm beginning to make some good friends.
I'm beginning to get used to the weather.
I'm beginning to say "to go" instead of ta pao.
I'm beginning to get comfortable talking to strangers.

This shows how adaptable humans are.
But I realized all this is gonna end soon.
Ok maybe not so soon. But it will all end eventually. :(
I know I will miss this place that made me grow.

1 Down

Today I've changed my pair of contact lenses.

How many more? I don't know.

What I know is I have about 1 year worth of contact lenses.

Too Many Dreams

While taking a nap this afternoon, I dreamt about my......... Mum! In that dream I was asking her how to cook minced pork. So I said, "I purposely bought minced meat because you know how to cook it, so now you can teach me."

BUT she was too busy to entertain me. She said, "wait wait, let me settle down first before I teach you." I was pestering her again and again like a mad ass, because at the back of my mind I knew I was running out of time.

True enough, while "waiting" for her, I woke up. I never get to learn how to cook that minced meat. Mummy, why can't you put away your things and teach me? I woke up feeling disappointed. I was THIS close to getting the recipe. Now I don't know what to do with my minced beef. Maybe just add it in my pasta or make beef balls the next time I cook.

Solitaire

Some people prefer solitude not because they love it.

But rather, being alone feels much better than being lonely with someone beside you.

Clay Aiken - Solitaire

There was a man, a lonely man

Who lost his love through his indifference

A heart that cared, that went unshared

Until it died in his silence

And Solitaire's the only game in town

And every road that takes him, takes him down

And by himself, it's easy to pretend

He'll never love again

And keeping to himself he plays the game

Without her love it always ends the same

While life goes on around him everywhere

He's playing Solitaire

Another day, a lonely day

So much to say that goes unspoken

And through the night, his sleepless nights

His eyes are closed, his heart is broken

And Solitaire's the only game in town

And every road that takes him, takes him down

And by himself it's easy to pretend

She's coming back again

And keeping to himself he plays the game

Without her love it always ends the same

While life goes on around him everywhere

He's playing Solitaire

A little hope, goes up in smoke

Just how it goes, goes without saying

Solitaireee

And by himself it's easy to pretend He'll never love again

Ohhh

And keeping to himself he plays the game

Without her love it always ends the same

While life goes on around him everywhere

He's playing Solitaire

Solitaire, solitaire

Such A Shame

Coldplay - The Scientist

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I've set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Oh tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I’m going back to the start

Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ah ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh ooh ooh oohOh ooh ooh ooh ooh




-Got woken up by this song around 1+am. (either by room mate/ people outside the apartment) Realized this is one of my favorite songs and I can always relate to it. Lie in bed listening to it for a while. Contemplated getting ear plugs to block out the music because I need sleep badly. But I was too lazy to get off the bed. After a while, the music stopped and I went back to sleep.

Reminder

Experience it, enjoy it. Just don't fall for it.
i

More Time Away

Dishwalla - "Angels Or Devils"

This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna come here tonight
This is the last time I will fall
Into a place that fails us all inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
But fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down
Come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna give in tonight
Are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear to see

Still I can see the pain in you
And I can see the love in you
And fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever
Are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down
Come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

If I was to give in give it up and then
Take a breath make it deep
Cause it might be the last one you get
Be the last one that could make us cold
You know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

Distance Equates To?

Is distance what holds two people together because incompatibility becomes diluted by the continents and the seas? Could it be that people trudge about and immerse themselves in the sadness of their separation to forget that ultimately they are just not meant to be?

i

Internal Conflict

Learnt this from Conflict Theory class yesterday.

One of the assumptions of game theory: Parties behave rationally and act according to their preferences.

Eg. Two ice creams are offered to you. You can take either chocolate or strawberry. Just presume that you prefer chocolate. Rationally, you would pick the chocolate ice cream.

However, there are people out there who would choose strawberry ice cream over chocolate despite the fact that they love chocolate ice cream. Why is this so? Are they irrational or insane people?
i

The answer is no. This is because choosing the strawberry ice cream would probably give them the personal benefit of achieving something more important. Eventually, you gain more than what you lose. Therefore, these people are actually very rational people. For a small sacrifice, they gain much more. They look at the big picture.

Anyone ever find themselves in this situation?

i

I've always ended up asking myself why did I choose "strawberry ice cream". Perhaps I've got to step back and remind myself to look at the big picture.

*WARNING this may be mind boggling.

Far Away

Some days, I wanna stay. Some days I can't wait to leave.

It's only been two weeks but it feels like forever.

Being far away for far too long makes me forget things.

Nitty gritty and important stuffs in my life.

i

I forget what it is like to have a family.

I forget what it is like to know that there is someone there 24/7.

I forget what it is like to have meals prepared readily for me.

I forget what it is like to have laudry done for me.

I forget what it is like to sleep in.

I forget what it is like to walk in the hot humid weather.

I forget what it is like to take the buses/MRT.

I forget what it is like to have everything so accessible.

I forget what it is like to have days zoom right past.

I forget what it is like to feel at home.

P/S I'm aching all over because of bball with Jia, FX, Joel and Jesmund yesterday.

P/P/S Thank you all for the lunch and dinner. =)

Love

She tries it on like a dress.

She decides it doesn't fit,

And starts to take it off.

Her skin comes, too.

-Lola Haskins

Hmmm

4 months is just changing my contact lenses 4 times.


Should be pretty easy and fast, right?

Home

I'm staring out into the night,

Trying to hide the pain.

I'm going to the place where love

And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.

And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,

Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.

I'm not running from.

No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don't regret this life I chose for me.

But these places and these faces are getting old,

So I'm going home.

Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,

The closer I get to you.

I've not always been the best man or friend for you.

But your love remains true.

And I don't know why.

You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,

Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.

I'm not running from.

No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don't regret this life I chose for me.

But these places and these faces are getting old,

Be careful what you wish for,

'Cause you just might get it all.

You just might get it all,

And then some you don't want.

Be careful what you wish for,

'Cause you just might get it all.

You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,

Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.

I'm not running from.

No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don't regret this life I chose for me.

But these places and these faces are getting old.

I said these places and these faces are getting old,

So I'm going home.

I'm going home.

*I'm 9384 miles away from home.

It's only been a week.

It doesn't help that this song was playing on the plane when I was flying AWAY from home.

Don't Forget.

Today was a great day. I finally remembered the reasons why I wanted to come to Buffalo so much. And these are the reasons..

I will never get to experience all these in Singapore. For my whole 21 years, I felt I've lived in vain. This is indeed an eye opening experience I will never forget. Everything is so different. The people, the culture, even the clouds, trees and grass. =D If the going ever gets tough, I should remind myself about all these reasons again.

P/S Sis, show these pictures to Daddy and Mummy to let them know I'm fine. Cuz I'm lazy to upload album on facebook. Thanks.

Necessities Bought

So far, I've went to shop at 3 places to get important things for my room.


1) Tops - Cereal, Tissue box and Waste paper basket. US$11.98
2) Walmart - Lamp, Bedsheets, Comforter, Gallon of water, Pillow, Bulbs. US$60.62
3) Dollar Tree - 3 Sets of hangers (8 each), Popcorn. US$4.26

Total= US$76.86 = Sing$110.75


*Still got more things to get!

Update

It's like 8.22am here in Buffalo and I'm already awake like since hours ago. :( Slept around 1plusam and woke up around 4plusam. All because of the time difference and hunger I suppose? So frustrating. But luckily I have Liz with me now. So after chatting for a while we got up to make ourselves breakfast. Frosted flakes and milk. Simple but filling. I've this feeling I will be shagged by the afternoon. Hope the jetlag wears off soon man. Haha, I think only Jia and Will can adapt well. Think they will only be up at 12pm.

Oh after today Liz will be shifting to her dorm. So I will be all alone in my room! Haha =_=. I miss home, I miss everyone, everything. But I'm kinda proud of myself cuz I survived the flights and I've packed my place already. Realized doing everything by myself is really tough. Guess I'm too sheltered. I fixed the lamp, got it working, put my bedsheets, pillow and comforter up, hanged up my clothes, packed other stuffs into drawers and packed the table. So things look really nice now. Wonder what's going to happen to all those things when I leave. Haha, but the bed sucks. So hard, I miss my bed! Will take a picture of my room when everything is 100% neat.

I guess when you are alone, you've to nag yourself to get things done. There's no one to force-feed me now. So for the sake of survival, I force-feed myself. Eat MORE so that I can store the food for the longer period of time. It sucks when no one is there to prepare food for you at odd hours and weird timing. If only I'm a camel, I would definitely store up 4months worth of food.


P/S Going to Jia's place soon. She cooked porridge and I have pork floss. HAHA.




Jia and I at the pancake place. Cheap, good and big portion!

Reached

At the apartment now! Unpacking, Ciao!



*Pardon the slit-like eyes. Jet-lagged.

One One DAY!!!

I think I have a furball in my throat. I'm choking. (with emotions)



Perhaps without send off, makes leaving much more easier. :(