Slipping Away

1 Month = 4 weeks ≈ 28 days.

Woah, please slow down. I feel I can't catch up.

Headache

You kept me awake at night, and put me to sleep in the day.

Go away please.

If only I can inhale 8 chapters of PR.

The Letter Between Past And I

Dear Past,

I am writing you because I don't have anybody to listen to me. I can't help it anymore so I decided to confront you because I thought it was the right thing for me to do, since this is all between me and you.

There are a lot of memories of you that are really worth remembering. I learned a lot from you during my happiest and saddest moments, during my richest and poorest days and my best and worst times. And I want to thank you for that.

When you were still my "present", of course I enjoyed every second, every minute, and every hour spent with you, stitching bad things and good things together, enjoying the freedom I had.

What bothers me the most nowadays is that I feel that you did not totally let go of me. It is because you still seem to be controlling parts of my being. I am still disturbed by what I had already left behind when I made the changes in my life to be a better person.

It seems that until now, you are still holding some pieces of me. It often feels like you urge me to go back to find those pieces of my history and put them together to be whole again, so I could free myself from yesterday.

I am not so happy with what is happening to me in the present. I think that you are the one causing me distress because it feels like you are pulling me backwards and keeping me from moving on.

You are not making things any easier for me. I have already suffered too much for what I have done and maybe that is now enough to pay my lot.

Don't you know that you are the main reason for my day-to-day anguish and lots of sleepless nights? Please stop haunting me… Please let me go and find a better life. Please set me free….

TST

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To You, TST,

I got your letter. It's quite a surprise for me to read about your complaints and accusations against me.

Not even one of the questions should be thrown at me nor should the whole letter be addressed to me but to "You", since you hold all the answers to your queries.

Now it is my turn to say things and ask you questions that may help you clear your mind.

What you've done before were the things that made you feel like living your life to the fullest. Memories that made you seem to be happiest in those moments, whether good or evil, cannot be easily or completely forgotten because of what you want to do now.

You made me exist, didn't you?

It wasn't me who made your life miserable; it was all "you"! So why do you keep on blaming me? Don't you even dare put all the blame on me! Now, you see, what makes you remember me the most are the worst things you have done.

Don't you feel how sad it is that you could never be proud of your past?

You're not like other people who are telling stories to their children about their history. Their stories are being proudly preached to the next generation.

You know what? I am so sorry to tell you that you haven't yet realized that you are actually blaming your own self; you haven't yet forgiven yourself for the wrong choices you've made before.

Try to forgive and forget. Forgive yourself, and you will soon be free. Learn to forget the things that you are regretful for, so to stop them from haunting you.

You chained yourself to me but you made yourself unaware that anytime you want, you could break free, because the key is right there in your hands.

You must be very grateful that because you have me, you learned from your mistakes. You realized that the things you once thought to be good or right were never right, so you became aware of not doing those things again.And the most important of all, you have changed into a better you.

How I wish that when you are already in your future, you will not have the same regrets about what you have done today like what you did yesterday.

So please, make the best out of your life in the present!

Good luck!

Once with you, "PAST"

Read this somewhere. Made some changes and adapted to own context.

Happy Ending

Sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending, we don't learn how to read the signs. Maybe a happy ending doesn't include a person in your life, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on.

Different lives, different happy endings. =)

I hope you're happy. Are you?

:(

Because of the slight fever I'm having now, I'm avoided like a plague. :(

I'm like quarantined to my room now. How sympathetic my family can be?

H1N1? Like SERIOUSLY?!

I secretly think Janis passed it to me. HAHA, are you reading this, Janis? =P

Think I'll skip school tomorrow.

In A Blink Of Eye

With one last look, she closed her eyes and took the plunge.

Down she fell into darkness and wilderness.

This could be heaven, this is could be hell.

i

Pray for me.

Don't Leave Her Lonely Too Long

There's strangers waiting in line,

To take your place and leave you behind.

And then too late you'll change your mind,

Your heart will break a million times.

Change

It's sad when people you know become people you knew.

When you can walk right past a someone like they were never a big part of your life.

How you used to be able to talk for hours and how now, you can barely even look at them.

i

The Mask

Don't be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a thousand masks, and none of them are me. Don't be fooled, for goodness sake, don't be fooled.

I give you the impression that I'm secure, that confidence is my name and coolness is my game, and that I need no one. But don't believe me.

Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in aloneness, in fear. That's why I create a mask to hide behind, to shield me from the glance that knows, but such a glance is precisely my salvation.

That is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love. It's the only thing that can liberate me from my own self-built prison walls. I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing and that I'm just no good, and that you will reject me.

And so begins the parade of masks. I idly chatter to you. I tell you everything that's really nothing and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me.

Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying. I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous, and me. But you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand.

Each time you're kind and gentle, and encouraging, Each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, feeble wings, but wings.

With your sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding,
You alone can release me from my shallow world of uncertainty.

It will not be easy for you. The nearer you approach me, the blinder I may strike back.
But I'm told that Love is stronger than strong walls, and in this lies my only hope.

Please try to beat down these walls with firm hands,
But gentle hands, for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you wonder. I am every man you meet, and also every woman that you meet,
And I am you, also.

-Author unknown

Even Now, Even Now

You probably know the feeling's not right.

Something's amiss, but you decide not to put up a fight.

So you close your eyes and live on like it doesn't hurt.

But in the process, you are bruised, battered and burnt.

Still, you convince yourself that's the best for all.

However with every step, you take a fall.

You pray and wish the pain away.

But it still hurts, again and again.

So you look up the sky,

And you silently wonder why.

The Wolves Within

An old Grandfather, whose grandson came to him with anger at a schoolmate who had done him an injustice, said, "Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times."

He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way."

"But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eye and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"

The Grandfather solemnly said, "The one I feed."

Which wolf, do you feed?

Interesting Quotes

Saw this 2 quotes on TV Mobile yesterday.

"Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge."

-I always believe that forgiveness is the highest attainment in life. When you are able to forgive, you are finally able to let go. And the issue/person can no longer affect or bother you. If one day comes, and the issue/person is unable to have an impact or effect on you, I guess that's probaby the sweetest revenge.

"When a horse is dead, get off."

- No point staying on a dead horse. It won't bring you anywhere. And it is impossible to revive your dead horse. Be glad and thankful for the past service of the horse. It is time to move on.

i

I 've learnt

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.

I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.

I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed it

I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.

I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.

I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.

I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meaning, it loses value when overly used.

I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

Maybe.

I don't think I am unhappy, I think I am just not as happy as I should be.

What's that missing piece in my life?


Happiness is never stopping to think if you are. ~Palmer Sondreal

What A Blast!

Last night celebration at timbre was superb. I love my friends, I love their company, I love chilling out and oh, I love my new Holga.

I wanna capture more beautiful pictures with it. Thanks peeps for that gift and cake!

My sexy red Holga! Courtesy of UB friends =)

Another friend for my camera family! (Digital point-and-shoot Sony Cyber Shot camera not included.)

Oh btw, my DSLR AF is spoilt. :(