The Beginning

Toronto, New York City... What's next?


I'm beginning to call my apartment my home.
I'm beginning to get chummy with my room mates.
I'm beginning to make some good friends.
I'm beginning to get used to the weather.
I'm beginning to say "to go" instead of ta pao.
I'm beginning to get comfortable talking to strangers.

This shows how adaptable humans are.
But I realized all this is gonna end soon.
Ok maybe not so soon. But it will all end eventually. :(
I know I will miss this place that made me grow.

1 Down

Today I've changed my pair of contact lenses.

How many more? I don't know.

What I know is I have about 1 year worth of contact lenses.

Too Many Dreams

While taking a nap this afternoon, I dreamt about my......... Mum! In that dream I was asking her how to cook minced pork. So I said, "I purposely bought minced meat because you know how to cook it, so now you can teach me."

BUT she was too busy to entertain me. She said, "wait wait, let me settle down first before I teach you." I was pestering her again and again like a mad ass, because at the back of my mind I knew I was running out of time.

True enough, while "waiting" for her, I woke up. I never get to learn how to cook that minced meat. Mummy, why can't you put away your things and teach me? I woke up feeling disappointed. I was THIS close to getting the recipe. Now I don't know what to do with my minced beef. Maybe just add it in my pasta or make beef balls the next time I cook.

Solitaire

Some people prefer solitude not because they love it.

But rather, being alone feels much better than being lonely with someone beside you.

Clay Aiken - Solitaire

There was a man, a lonely man

Who lost his love through his indifference

A heart that cared, that went unshared

Until it died in his silence

And Solitaire's the only game in town

And every road that takes him, takes him down

And by himself, it's easy to pretend

He'll never love again

And keeping to himself he plays the game

Without her love it always ends the same

While life goes on around him everywhere

He's playing Solitaire

Another day, a lonely day

So much to say that goes unspoken

And through the night, his sleepless nights

His eyes are closed, his heart is broken

And Solitaire's the only game in town

And every road that takes him, takes him down

And by himself it's easy to pretend

She's coming back again

And keeping to himself he plays the game

Without her love it always ends the same

While life goes on around him everywhere

He's playing Solitaire

A little hope, goes up in smoke

Just how it goes, goes without saying

Solitaireee

And by himself it's easy to pretend He'll never love again

Ohhh

And keeping to himself he plays the game

Without her love it always ends the same

While life goes on around him everywhere

He's playing Solitaire

Solitaire, solitaire

Such A Shame

Coldplay - The Scientist

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I've set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Oh tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I’m going back to the start

Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ah ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh ooh ooh oohOh ooh ooh ooh ooh




-Got woken up by this song around 1+am. (either by room mate/ people outside the apartment) Realized this is one of my favorite songs and I can always relate to it. Lie in bed listening to it for a while. Contemplated getting ear plugs to block out the music because I need sleep badly. But I was too lazy to get off the bed. After a while, the music stopped and I went back to sleep.

Reminder

Experience it, enjoy it. Just don't fall for it.
i

More Time Away

Dishwalla - "Angels Or Devils"

This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna come here tonight
This is the last time I will fall
Into a place that fails us all inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
But fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down
Come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna give in tonight
Are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear to see

Still I can see the pain in you
And I can see the love in you
And fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever
Are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down
Come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

If I was to give in give it up and then
Take a breath make it deep
Cause it might be the last one you get
Be the last one that could make us cold
You know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

Distance Equates To?

Is distance what holds two people together because incompatibility becomes diluted by the continents and the seas? Could it be that people trudge about and immerse themselves in the sadness of their separation to forget that ultimately they are just not meant to be?

i

Internal Conflict

Learnt this from Conflict Theory class yesterday.

One of the assumptions of game theory: Parties behave rationally and act according to their preferences.

Eg. Two ice creams are offered to you. You can take either chocolate or strawberry. Just presume that you prefer chocolate. Rationally, you would pick the chocolate ice cream.

However, there are people out there who would choose strawberry ice cream over chocolate despite the fact that they love chocolate ice cream. Why is this so? Are they irrational or insane people?
i

The answer is no. This is because choosing the strawberry ice cream would probably give them the personal benefit of achieving something more important. Eventually, you gain more than what you lose. Therefore, these people are actually very rational people. For a small sacrifice, they gain much more. They look at the big picture.

Anyone ever find themselves in this situation?

i

I've always ended up asking myself why did I choose "strawberry ice cream". Perhaps I've got to step back and remind myself to look at the big picture.

*WARNING this may be mind boggling.

Far Away

Some days, I wanna stay. Some days I can't wait to leave.

It's only been two weeks but it feels like forever.

Being far away for far too long makes me forget things.

Nitty gritty and important stuffs in my life.

i

I forget what it is like to have a family.

I forget what it is like to know that there is someone there 24/7.

I forget what it is like to have meals prepared readily for me.

I forget what it is like to have laudry done for me.

I forget what it is like to sleep in.

I forget what it is like to walk in the hot humid weather.

I forget what it is like to take the buses/MRT.

I forget what it is like to have everything so accessible.

I forget what it is like to have days zoom right past.

I forget what it is like to feel at home.

P/S I'm aching all over because of bball with Jia, FX, Joel and Jesmund yesterday.

P/P/S Thank you all for the lunch and dinner. =)

Love

She tries it on like a dress.

She decides it doesn't fit,

And starts to take it off.

Her skin comes, too.

-Lola Haskins